Dr Vijay's Patient Feedback Forum

11/23/2016

Hello. This is Dr Vijay. If you are reading this you are OR were my patient or had a scan done by me during your pregnancy. I may / may not remember you personally but we value your feedback and your stories.

If you had a perfectly normal pregnancy - please share it with us here for the benefit of all mothers who may want to hear your experience

If you had a complicated pregnancy - we would encourage you to share it with us here. Many mothers in the future may have complicated pregnancies and go through a similar experience will benefit from learning from how you went through and coped.

We welcome all comments and stories

9 Comments

Dr Vijay

11/23/2016 22:57:17

This a response a patient with extreme premature birth shared on another blog. Her experience was in 2013...

I was pregnant with identical twin boys. I loved being pregnant & everything was well. Giving birth to preemies never once crossed my mind. One fine day during a routine check-up, Dr Vijay told me he could no longer detect the heartbeat of my first twin. I lost him due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). I was only 26 weeks 3 days into pregnancy at that time. Dr Vijay explained to me it was internal miscommunication & I didn’t do anything to cause it, nor could I have done anything to prevent it. Nevertheless, I felt guilty.

Nothing could be done as I had MCDA twins - both twins shared the same placenta. Whatever the choice will affect the surviving twin. Dr Vijay gave me a jab, proven to delay pre-term labour & told me to take it weekly until week 34; & told me some of the risks of keeping the surviving twin.

Within 7 days upon receiving the bad news, I started having contractions. I wanted to delay delivery but I was dilated up to 8cm after 4 hours of contractions and the doctors could not stop labour. In the labour room, doctors & paediatricians told me all the risks associated with the surviving twin. Lots of statistics they gave me, as if labour pain wasn’t bad enough.

After 15 hours, I felt the 1st twin (Happy) coming out & he was so real to me. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to hold him & didn’t have the chance to look at him, not even once. When the 2nd twin (Howard) came out, they had to send him straight to NICU – a place I never knew existed.

Losing one child is emotionally draining, having the other one in NICU is extra challenging. Howard was born at 27 gestation weeks, weighing 975g. It seemed like everything happened in a flash - Howard was there lying on a small cot – tiny & fragile, with tubes & other electronic devices attached to his tiny body.

In the NICU, all the risks were repeated again. They told me all babies in NICU have the same risks, BUT Howard has a higher risk to everything due to the lost twin in my womb; as my body naturally produced some antibodies to fight the lost twin. My body recognised the lost twin as a “foreign body”, how sad. These antibodies may affect Howard.

It was the first time in my life ever I felt completely helpless. NICU was intimidating, with lots of tubes, needles, machines beeping & lights flashing. I sat with Howard for 5 weeks until I could finally hold him; he must have been very lonely lying inside the incubator 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I loved bonding with him. By holding him I knew I was helping him grow & letting him feel loved.

Baby had NEC infections, MRSA infection, lung infection, frequent desaturation, feeding intolerance, congenital heart problem. I hated going to the hospital, it seemed like doctors had a “surprise” for me daily & they were talking to me in a foreign language - PDA, IVH, RDS, ROP, NEC, OOP, MRSA, TPM, hernia, apnea, pheumonia. I was practically living in fear; thinking about all the “what-if’s” & the worst.

Howard went through lots of blood tests, x-rays, scans. Baby was screaming every-time nurses or doctors poke him with needles. He must have been very uncomfortable. It was heart wrenching. Everything was huge to Howard.

Tears, negative emotions, tension were inevitably high. There were days I wasn’t sure if I could take it anymore.

After 89 days, Howard can finally go home at 2kg. Guilt didn’t leave me even after Howard came home. I kept thinking it wasn’t fair for Howard & he shouldn’t have gone through all these.

Life after NICU was equally exhausting. There were weekly appointments to keep & lots of supplements to take. I was wondering if Howard will ever grow up.

Making friends with parents in NICU, chatting with doctors & nurses, helped me with the NICU experience & they overwhelmed me with their kindness. It’s not going to be easy but be prepared to be inspired by the seemingly helpless child in front of you. The babies in NICU are proof that miracles happen.

I thought I didn’t want to remember any of the tough days but I took photos of baby anyway. When I look back now & see how far baby has come, it is comforting & amazing.

Like the blink of an eye, Howard is now 8 month-old (adjusted age 5 months); and he’s a handsome, smiley, happy little man at 7kg.

Be positive and hopeful. It’s really difficult but if I survived NICU, anybody else can. Believe in miracles. Your little hero will eventually go home with you one day.

Enjoy your baby.

Last but not least: Dear God, thank you for everything. I'm stunned speechless by Your abundant grace, love & faithfulness.

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